Today was a big day in the life of Mom. A trip outside the nursing home walls. A trip approximately a mile away. So why did I over-think it and get up early to make sure I had everything ready? For the same reason you pack a suitcase to take a toddler to the park. If you think you don't need it, you will. If you forgot it, you'll regret it. Rain hat...check, extra coat...check, kleenex...check, ginger ale...check, package of cookies...check.
See, Mom has, well had..a growth on her thumb. We didn't know what it was but it was icky and hurt her and grew and grew. After a mishap last month where it was partially torn off and bled like a geyser then promptly grew back, the doctor and I decided the best thing would be for her to see a dermatologist. And today was the day. After an early lunch and early meds the nice gentleman arrived to take us in the medi-van. We hooked her in and off we went. Mom was not happy and didn't really enjoy the whole three minute ride.
It's hard to take her out because she's afraid of riding in vehicles, she can't see so the motion makes her queasy and because she doesn't look out the windows she doesn't understand where she is. But we got there, her complaining and making dry eyed crying noises.
Then they gave me forms to fill in. Medical history and details. Any cancers, yes. Any surgeries, too many to list. Any medication allergies, yup. I gave up halfway down the last sheet. I had to, I had started to giggle and was concerned I'd be laughing so hard I'd start tears flowing. Why? I ame to this question:
is the patient pregnant or planning to become pregnant?
Even now I'm snickering. I wanted to answer "no but who knows what can happen". I didn't. I wanted to answer "she's eighty frikkin nine years old, chances of being with child are mighty slim". I didn't. I wanted to write "if she is you'd better look for the three wise men and a handful of camels" but I didn't.
Not everyone has my sense of humor. Especially Mom. Filling out forms is not a participation sport for Shirley. Every question I asked her she couldn't answer and it was making us both sad especially when I asked her "Mom, when was your mastectomy (or boobage removal procedure) and she said "ask Tia, Tia knows". Tia didn't know but Tia had had enough. So Tia handed back the forms and fed her a graham cracker and ginger-ale. And Tia hates people who talk in the third person so Tia will stop.
Fast forward to today, the day after. Mom's thumb doohickey was removed, we waited 45 minutes for the less than 5 minute ride back. I met a lovely lady in the waiting room and we had a nice chat about dogs and the elderly. Mom had a possible pyogenic granuloma on her thumb. That's fancy talk for what the dr thinks, pending the biopsy, was a blood blister that overgrew to heal itself. The Dr. removed it with a scapel and a laser and Mom did great. I was thrown back in time to when the boys were young and I'd be more nervous than they were when they were hurt or ill. Other than the injection for the numbing meds, Mom sat quietly and from time to time asked me where we were and would we miss the cake. I would tell her and ask her if she wanted some of the cake and she'd say no but she knew she'd miss it.
It's scary when my youngest child is my oldest family member. Now we will wait for the biopsy results but when they said we could discuss treatments if the results showed cancer I kept thinking "no we won't". We wouldn't treat it, we couldn't. Just as we cannot treat or diagnose the mass in her colon. We can just keep her comfy and hope for the best, whatever that is.
This post has no conclusion or drawn up lesson on life. It was just a day in my life with Mom. Her pain, her fears, and her boo boo. It isn't always funny and it isn't always meaningful. Sometimes it's just a break in the every day routine and arriving back to her room safe and as sound as she can be. Today will be a new day and at the end of it I'll arrive home safe and sound to my own life. Wondering what the best part of the day with Mom was. Yesterday it was twofold, her thumb is repairs and........ hey, she's not pregnant.
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